Eleanor Berry

Your Father Had To Swing, You Little Bastard

Meet the legendary, extraordinary and utterly unique Dr Joseph Slandisch: the persecuted and tormented child, eccentric tone-deaf musician, wild, crazy, unpredictable Harley Street psychiatrist and tunelessly singing murderer is lovable all the same.

Wicked but impossible to hate, he giggles, bashes and crashes on his comic path through the mad, black life of a brilliant doctor, stunning looker, lady-killer but soppy, doting and indulgent father, whose son inherits his insanity.

Love him, weep with him, laugh with him, but keep your distance from him when he gets out his carving knife, but far, far worse than that, his violin.

Help me, help me, it’s red

This novel examines the curious relationship between Rowland and William Rendon. The father and son duo are not only connected by blood but by a sinister ball of bright red wool –reminiscent of the wool William’s nanny used to use to knit.

William’s childhood is a turbulent one, of physical and sexual abuse. Rowland, a Harley Street psychiatrist, tries to redeem his relationship with his son, but is he too late?

When he is not taking drugs or driving through the streets at dangerous speeds, William is constantly searching for his next sexual fix. His need for sex leads him to prostitutes and peculiarly paying them to sing God Save the Queen for him – and his obsession with red wool continues to make an appearance…

The Most Singular Adventures of Sarah Lloyd

This gripping and hilarious thriller cleverly combines the political and the supernatural. It is the story of Sarah Lloyd, an attention-seeking young woman from a wealthy newspaper family based in London.

When Sarah stays with her cousins in Ireland, she and her Uncle Seamus (not a blood relation) fall in love. Even Seamus's dark and secret other life does not deter Sarah and, if anything, it increases her devotion to him.

However, when the couple move to London, Sarah's life is blighted by the perverse attentions and intense jealousy of her boss, Dr Blenkinsop, whose destructive influence rapidly leads to appalling tragedy.

The Rise and Fall of Mad Silver Jaxton

In this surreal tale, a furious Yorkshireman, his mind already warped by tragedy and family feuding, shifts his muscular hulk south to London. A homophobe and a raging hypochondriac, this fascinating if disrupted man is Donovan Jaxton. He becomes a dictator, not in a racist sense, but desiring, in addition to the abolition of unemployment, the triumph of the decent over the rotten, the frail over the vicious and wholesomeness over decay.

Though capable of extreme cruelty, Jaxton is vulnerable, brutally eccentric and sometimes even lovable. He loves objects of silver, ranging from the flags of his party to the latrines of his workers. That is why he is addressed as Silver Leader. But this roguish leader is not invincible, and his ruin is engineered by his indulgence of his evil daughter, Julia Miranda.

The House of the Weird Doctors

The body of a hated genuis scientist, mentally deranged by his raw Etonian heritage, is found savagely butchered in the flash hallway of the prestigious medical institution in Britian - the Royal Society of Medicine. He knew something no-one else knew. He possessed a thing wanted by the entire world.

Anxious to solve this gruesome murder, the police move fast and the intolerably rude Detective Inspector Massey rapidly unearths many obvious suspects. But will he apprehend the culprit before other murders occur?

Eleanor Berry has applied her nimble pen to a cliffhanger of a thriller full of driven characters and a mischievious wit.

Sixty Funny Stories

From the author of The Ruin of Jessie Cavendish and Cap'n Bob and Me comes an entirely new collection of autobiographical stories, anecdotes and hilarious recollections from a long and eventful life.

In Sixty Funny Stories Eleanor Berry recalls her childhood, the troubled times of her mental illness, the inspiration for her books and how her impish, rebellious character has always got her into trouble - of one sort or another... a dented Aston Martin ... Broken windows at Ian Fleming's home - sharing a quip with Reggie Kray. Told with wit, verve and not a little desire to shock, Sixty Funny Stories is a highly entertaining collection that will appeal to Berry's many existing readers, and provides a perfect introduction to her work for new readers.

An Eye for a Tooth, a Limb for an Eye

How far would you go to wreak revenge on the person who has ruined your life?

When Rhoda Buckleshott, stylish young English teacher at Sir Winston's girls' school, is unceremoniously sacked, she swears that she will not rest until she has destroyed her nemesis, the headteacher, Mrs Beddington.

Perceiving her dismissal as an act of reverse snobbery against her privileged upbringing and upper-class accent, Rhoda embarks on a campaign against Mrs Beddington that becomes more severe and outlandish at every step. And as Rhoda's obsession spins out of control, the strain of her reign of terror takes a terrible toll on her mental state.

My Unique Relationship with Robert Maxwell: The Truth at Last

This book is an intriguing viewpoint into the private life of Robert Maxwell and his relationship with the daughter of Lord Hartwell, Eleanor Berry. The book plots their relationship during his life up until the time of his death.

Robert Maxwell was a British media proprietor and MP. He rose from poverty to build a publishing empire. He bought the Mirror Group newspapers and Macmillan Publishers, among others. He died in 1991. It was Eleanor’s late brother, Nicky, who introduced her to Bob in the late 60s. Nicky was the Financial Correspondent on The Daily Telegraph and had worked with Bob so they had become friends. Nicky was invited to a birthday party at Robert Maxwell’s Oxford house, Headington Hall and Eleanor went along with him. After a night of chatting and dancing, Eleanor spent lots of time with Robert and his wife, Betty, over the years.

Eleanor Berry was born in to a family of British newspaper proprietors. Her father, Michael Berry (Baron Hartwell) MBE was the second son of Mary Agnes And William Berry, 1st Viscount Camrose. He was Chairman and Editor-in-Chief of The Daily Telegraph and Sunday Telegraph newspapers. Lord Hartwell married Lady Pamela Smith, daughter of F. E. Smith, 1st Earl of Birkenhead and they had four children together – Adrian, Nicholas, Harriet and Eleanor.

Eleanor Berry is the author of over twenty published books and says her first brush with literature was when she broke windows in Ian Fleming’s house at the age of eight. Of Welsh ancestry, she was born and bred in London. Eleanor specialises in black humour. The works of Gorki, Dostoevsky, Gogol, Edgar Allen Poe and James Hadley Chase have strongly influenced her writings. She currently resides in South West London.

My Face Shall Appear on the Banknotes

This book describes the close friendship between a certain Jack Maguire, a politician, finally to become Prime Minister of Britain, and one Natalie Klein, who is a dishonest, thoroughly amoral, promiscuous hearse-driver. She gets up to endless mischief on the bier rack. The two protagonists come from different backgrounds. Maguire hails from the slums of Toxteth and Natalie comes from a wealthy newspaper family in London.

Natalie has a perverse fascination for the dead. Maguire, on the other hand, is consumed by ambition and a desire to become Prime Minister. Maguire’s motto, “My face shall appear on the banknotes and my profile will be engraved on the coins” says it all. Natalie goes out of her way to help him become Prime Minister, in return for his kindness towards her, but only by devious means, which are an anathema to him. The story reaches a climax when their paths cross and they fall out.

Eleanor Berry is the author of over 20 published books and says her first brush with literature was when she broke windows in Ian Fleming’s house at the age of eight. Of Welsh ancestry, she was born and bred in London. Eleanor specializes in black humour and the works of Gorki, Dostoevsky, Gogol, Edgar Allan Poe and James Hadley Chase have strongly influenced her writings. Two of her novels are available in Russian and a third, which she refrains from naming, is being made into a film. This is Eleanor Berry’s fifteenth book with The Book Guild. She resides in South-West London. 

McArandy Was Hanged on the Gibbet High

The McArandy brothers, Jack and Ethelred, should have led charmed lives. Good-looking, and with a rare musical ability, they captivated their Spitalfields neighbours and were about to become famous throughout the city when their father's drunken violence towards their mother caused them to commit their first heinous crime together.

Ethelred was shattered to discover the murder of their father was not his elder brother's first, and from then onwards their relationship was fraught, though inextricably and tragically entwined. James's crimes become so outrageous that even his staunchest friends in the London underworld eventually testified against him and, inevitably, he fetched up at Tyburn.

Historical fiction at its best, Berry has authentically drawn her hero, and memorably placed him in his historical context.

Come Sweet Sexton, Tend My Grave

Professor Isaac Stone arrives at the Rudyard Kipling hospital to see a mysterious patient called Esmeralda Harris – who has suffered a nervous breakdown after witnessing a shocking event. Eleanor Berry keeps the reader guessing as she teases out the story and what it is that Esmeralda saw that was so distressing.

We then meet a delightful raconteur called Charlie Yates, whose anecdotes will enthrall the reader. Come Sweet Sexton, Tend My Grave comes to a sinister and tragic climax at the end when Esmeralda and Charlie are united under disastrous circumstances…

My Old Pal was a Junkie

Jessie Cavendish was never going to lead a happy life. Like her gypsy father, she is a thief and a liar. She is a woman whose demons are unsupportable and yet one who believes that love is stronger than death. After her father is shot dead as he attempts to flee communist Hungary, she is adopted by a wealthy English woman and sent to a public school, where she is profoundly unhappy and where it is hoped that her prodigious musical talent will flourish.

However, Jessie is haunted by memories of her beloved father and quickly begins a shocking decline into drink, drugs, crime and under-age sex. After being thrown out of the Royal Academy of Music, she drifts aimlessly with her young son until he is taken into care and Jessie then sees no point in living. A chance meeting with her saintly old school friend, Marcia Ford, stays her hand and, over one weekend, Jessie tells her tragic story: a story of loss, addiction and despair that leaves Marcia reeling.

By the time Monday morning comes, has she given Jessie enough reasons to live, or will she go through with the promise she made at the start of the weekend, to throw herself off the Clifton Suspension Bridge in Bristol...

This is one of Eleanor Berry' darker books, but it has its deeply comical moments.

By the Fat of Unborn Leopards

When the body of Maggie Frake is discovered in a cellar room, she is not alone: a man is there, whimpering on the floor, in shock, and unwilling to reveal his identity. The police give their suspect up for psychiatric examination, and he gradually begins to relate the horrific story that culminated in the suicide in the cellar. Throughout her brief life, and despite the affluence of her parents, Maggie was marginalized by her peers, bullied, and robbed of her first love, Simon, as a result of his untimely death.

Her trauma is such that her mother engages the world-famous psychiatrist, Dr Frederick Festenstein, to treat her, and she and the doctor fall in love. Dr Festenstein is everything to Maggie, but he holds a dark secret that serves to torment him and ultimately brings about his demise. Maggie now has a choice: to survive or die. And the difference between the two, she quickly discovers, is a very fine line indeed.

My Father Was a Newspaper Man

Daughter of newspaper baron Michael Berry, later Lord Hartwell, Eleanor was born into a life of privilege, but joined the Communist Party, going to Moscow alone at the age of 17, against her parents' wishes. She taught herself fluent Russian, and later befriended rival newspaper proprietor, Robert Maxwell, and became privy to his household causing problems at home.

Anecdote after anecdote comes from her pen, transporting us to her surreal and often absurd world. There are many 'laugh out loud' moments in this book, but it also has a serious side. Eleanor has written numerous books, and specialises in gallows humour.

The Killing of Lucinda Maloney

Plagued by the threat of mental illness, bereaved, deeply comical, grisly-humoured best-selling author, Joshua Flinton, takes refuge in creating his greatest character yet and by doing so bringing his beloved Aunt Rita back to life. What begins as therapy soon dissolves into a dangerous obsession, and Joshua realizes too late that he cannot control the fictitious Lucinda Maloney; she controls him. His brother Charles knows that without help from a couple of shrinks, and suitable distractions, namely two hilarious jobs, Joshua will succumb permanently to insanity.

However even Charles underestimates the power of Lucinda, whose reach extends far beyond the printed page and invades the lives of anyone aware of her existence. As things reach crisis point, it comes down to one simple question: will Joshua kill Lucinda or will Lucinda end up by killing Joshua? Despite its weighty portent, this story is a laugh from start to finish, black comedy at its best.

Too Much Bloody Noise

This is the continuing lurid story of Natalie Klein and her eccentric collection of associates, namely the clergyman next door, who can’t stand any noise and whose children turn to crime and drugs, the Frenchman who knocks out the clergyman’s two front teeth, the twin brothers who fight in the hall, while Natalie pops amphetamines and talks at length about Russian literature when she is doing so, and her sister, Hilary, who goes to great lengths to stop her taking amphetamines.

In Too Much Bloody Noise we meet more unforgettable characters through the clergyman, such as the Rocker who never uses the definite article, and who can’t stop making rock ‘n’ roll movements as he talks; the beauty the clergyman falls in love with; and her foul-tempered, crazy Irish undertaker father, McManus, who tries to bring him into the business.

Eleanor Berry has written over thirty published books which are of a predominantly macabre nature in tone. She specialises in gallows humour. Born in London on 6th May 1950, Eleanor is the daughter of press baron Lord Hartwell, and granddaughter of renowned statesman F.E. Smith, later to become Lord Birkenhead. She was also a close friend and confidant of the newspaper tycoon Robert Maxwell. Eleanor holds a BA Hons degree in English, a 2:2, and compiled an unpublished contextual thesis on the Marquis de Sade, against the wishes of her tutors and her parents.

Dr Ted Curruthers and Dr Isaac Stone

The latest episode in the life of Natalie Klein, about whom Eleanor Berry has frequently written - this time her lust for one of her many psychiatrists. This tale takes us through the doors of Harley Street and beyond.

We follow the life of Natalie Klein, fearless predator in the name of lust, as she attempts to entrap her prey in her tangled web, causing scandal from the hairdressers of Mayfair to the consulting rooms of Harley Street.

A woman who likes to have a stalwart stock of doctors, Natalie sets her sights at Ted Curruthers, with black humour. But does she succeed...?

Eleanor Berry has written over 25 published books, predominantly macabre humour in tone. Born in London, Eleanor is the daughter of press baron Lord Hartwell, and granddaughter of a renowned statesman F.E. Smith. She was also a close friend and confidant of the newspaper tycoon Robert Maxwell. Eleanor holds a BA Hons in English, and compiled an unpublished contextual thesis on the Marquis de Sade.

Tell My Son to Make Peace with His Forefathers: And the Involvement of Natalie Klein

In the continuing tales of Natalie Klein, our heroine is prevailed upon to help a friend in need, whose son is in a poor state and has not yet made peace with his late father who lies in The Valley of the Blessed in Israel.

We follow Natalie to Israel with the mother and son, and then back to her London life as a medical secretary in the capital’s largest hospital. Along the way we meet the various characters such as Natalie’s appalling colleague who tries to get her sacked, her vindictive boss and a secretary who challenges her – but what will be Natalie’s revenge?

However, these are just precursors to Natalie’s final act of devastating revenge against the printer who plagued her father’s newspaper, whom she spies at a crowded fancy dress party in Hampstead dressed up as Hitler…

Eleanor Berry has written and published over 30 books, predominantly macabre & black humoured in tone. Born in London, Eleanor is the daughter of press baron Lord Hartwell, and granddaughter of F.E. Smith. She was a close friend and confident of the newspaper tycoon Robert Maxwell. She holds a BA Hons in English & also studied philosophy, Russian language & literature, and compiled an unpublished contextual thesis on the Marquis de Sade.